Wednesday, April 6, 2011

I'm new here.

So I'm not really sure why I agreed to let others read my thoughts as many times they want, but I did- here goes nothing right? Basically, I'm seventeen, dream of being on a beach 50 percent of the time, and I don't really know what I'm doing in life yet.
Which, that brings me to a point I have to share- Blogs can be for venting sometimes right?
Well first off, before I start rambling, I definitely don't want to be a blogger who complains about the world all the time. But when something really get's my knickers in a twist, I just might share.
Alright. It all started in the not so peaceful environment of my English class. Now, I could be completely overreacting to this, and there is probably a 90 percent chance that I am, but, let's continue. We were writing poems about ourselves, who we are, whose lives we touch, what makes us sad, bla bla bla. So I decide to ask my true pal next to me 'Hey, What do I feel in life?' Wrong Question apparently. I didn't know one brain fart of mine could make this accusation but my little buddy decides to go along and say to little buddy number two 'See? This is what I was talking about. Natalia has no idea what is going on in her life. None at all. She has identity problems. And she acts different around certain people too. She doesn't know who she is, and she lets others control her.' Whoa there girl. Hold the phone.  Identity problems? Uhm, excusem-mwa (i have no idea how to spell. eh) I'm pretty sure I don't have identity problems.  I may not know my future right now, but there's still time. I know who I am right now, and as far as I'm concerned, that will do. And I don't let others control me- I make decisions for myself and if someone has a better one and I agree, please call the cops, I didn't know we all had to stick to our own plans, even if they would turn out to be...for lack of a better word...fails. If we didn't' let others influence us sometimes, we wouldn't be anywhere, not even walking or talking.
Okay, so maybe this was a completely boring rant but I just don't get when people think they know you. Especially if that person is like 'Oh, you let others control who you are' Uhm, isn't that kinda what your doing? Your flat out describing me as a person with no identity and no ability to think for themselves. In your head, your controlling who I am. Problem is I know when to be influenced and when to not be, so I'm not going to believe these fake insecurities that I 'have'.
Please let me know - was it painful? Should I Quit? Or More?
Do Tell.